


Never Sometimes

by gemzies



Series: Colliding By Design [3]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Bobby and Adam are both mentioned, Hurt, Injury Recovery, Kayfabe Compliant, Kyle has too many emotions to know what to feel anymore, M/M, Self-Blame, Self-Reflection, Set during and immediately after the Mar. 3 2021 episode of NXT, Television Watching, not quite a character study but could kind of be one I guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:28:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29968476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemzies/pseuds/gemzies
Summary: Even after all that had happened, seeing Roddy throw down his dog tags with such vitriol still hurt. He watched on as Roddy called out Adam Cole, cringed as he heard the blame Roddy threw at Finn in his anger, and as the two men came to blows he picked up his phone and sent off a quick text message."Don't listen to Roddy. This isn't your fault."It would be so much easier to deal with this if he could pin the blame on someone outside the circle. But he knew better than that.Kyle really didn't want to watch NXT. But Kyle needed to watch NXT.
Relationships: Finn Balor | Prince Devitt/Kyle O'Reilly
Series: Colliding By Design [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2179758
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	Never Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> I had a really hard time getting into the right headspace for this one, and I'm not sure I really accomplished what I was going for here, but what can you do.
> 
> Title from the New Found Glory song of the same name, because I have apparently decided to name every entry in this series after an old pop-punk song.

He watched as Roderick Strong began making his way to the ring, and Kyle shook his head when he noticed the dog tags clutched tightly in the other man’s hand. As the screen cut to commercial, he took a few deep breaths and gingerly placed his head in his hands. He didn’t really want to watch NXT, there was still too much pain there. The wounds from the weeks prior were still too fresh for him to feel fully prepared for the next bomb that would get dropped on him. And his neck still hurt, which didn’t make staring at the television any easier.

He didn’t _want_ to watch NXT. But Kyle _needed_ to watch.

Even after everything that had happened, seeing Roddy throw those dog tags down to the mat with such vitriol when the show returned from break still hurt. Dog tags that Kyle also owned a set of, branded with the logo that used to mark them as brothers. Brothers alongside two others, a friendship and bond that was so strong at one point that the four men held every title in NXT. As recently as a month ago, Kyle would have jumped into a burning building without hesitation for any of the other three men.

Kyle had tossed his own dog tags into the back of his bedroom closet after Takeover: Vengeance Day.

Roddy called out Adam Cole, because of course he did, and Kyle couldn’t help the humorless laugh that escaped his lips. He knew Adam wasn’t going to answer. Adam no longer answered to anyone but himself, and if he did decide to humor someone with a response it would be physical not verbal.

Kyle had learned that the hard way.

It had been two weeks since the attack from Adam that left him lying, left him temporarily unable to move, left him scared out of his mind. Two weeks since the neck injury that was the reason he was watching NXT from his living room couch instead of in his dressing room at the arena. Two weeks with nothing but time to think. And yet, despite all the time spent meditating on it and everything that had happened since then, Kyle’s emotions were still all over the place.

He had found 27 text messages, 8 missed calls, and two voicemails from Bobby Fish when he woke up and finally checked his phone the morning after. Part of him was surprised it wasn’t more, to be honest. Bobby was always the one to go into dad-mode if something happened or he was worried. Bobby also had a habit of losing his temper if he couldn’t reach someone he cared about in a crisis, and if it had been any other injury after any other night Kyle would have found Bobby’s angry yet empty threat of _“Kyle O’Reilly I swear if you don’t fucking let me know you’re okay, I’m going to drive my ass over there and take your fucking dog hostage until you answer me”_ hilarious.

Kyle did eventually call Bobby back, after he had managed to maneuver himself without too much pain or further injury to the kitchen for coffee and a little time to make sure he could think straight, but he kept the conversation as short as possible. He had read but immediately deleted the handful of messages from Roddy, rambling apologies that Kyle knew were from the heart but still stung given the circumstances. He’d ignored most of the other messages, not in the mood for condolences and platitudes.

But there was one message from an unknown number that he couldn’t keep from staring at.

_“Kyle, it’s Finn. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”_

As if the TV could read his thoughts Finn Bálor’s music hit, cutting off Roddy’s attempt to guilt trip Adam into appearing and bringing him back into the present moment. Finn seemed to be making his presence known quite often when the Undisputed Era - or what _used_ to be the Undisputed Era - were in the ring. And Kyle was beginning to understand why.

He watched, listening intently, as the two men traded barbs and then started trading blows. He cringed as he heard the blame Roddy threw at Finn in his anger. Swallowed the lump in his throat as he heard Finn’s response, words from a man who probably understood Adam’s actions better than anyone because he had once been that guy. He had once done the same thing.

Kyle knew that Finn was still very much the guy he had heard stories of during his time in Japan. The man who went from one of the most beloved wrestlers in the company to someone so hated by fans that he was receiving death threats. The _gaijin_ Prince who wreaked havoc and left an empire of destruction behind when he left. The ruthless bastard who cared about only himself, who had betrayed his tag partner for power and gold, and who was betrayed in kind by those he recruited for his cause.

But Finn was also the one person who was by his side after Adam’s attack. The one man who stayed close as the medics rushed down to the ring, who made sure Kyle knew he was there in case he needed someone. The man whose blue eyes were so full of fear, concern, and another emotion Kyle wasn’t quite ready to acknowledge the last time they’d met his own as he was being wheeled away from ringside that night. And Kyle was slowly learning how to reconcile the two sides of Finn Bálor.

As the officials ran down to separate the two brawling men, Kyle picked up his phone and sent a quick text.

_“Don’t listen to Roddy. This isn’t your fault.”_

Kyle sighed as he tossed his phone back onto the couch beside him. This would be so much easier if the blame could be pinned on someone else. Someone outside the circle, a third-party interloper sticking their nose in Undisputed Era’s business. But he knew better than that. With the benefit of hindsight, he could now see all the little things he’d missed. The brief moments when Adam’s façade would crack. The small signs he really should have noticed, since this wasn’t the first time he’d ended up on the wrong side of one of Adam’s powerplays. Trusting Adam after everything he’d put him through in Ring of Honor was stupid, he thought, and a mistake he wouldn’t make again.

Besides, Finn hadn’t stuck his nose in their business so much as Kyle had unintentionally dragged him into the middle of it. Acting with his heart and not his mind, racing out to help his former opponent, letting the feelings he had started to develop for the older man get the better of him. Offering Finn his hand, his trust, and letting himself get lost in the moment when it had been accepted.

Kyle watched the match between Finn and Roddy with a weird sense of detachment, almost a feeling of numbness. It was as if he was trying to feel so many different emotions at the same time that he lost the ability to feel anything. Adam’s appearance at the end sent something sharp and ugly through his chest, but as he turned the TV off and slowly pushed himself off the couch that too faded away. By the time he got to his bedroom he was nothing other than exhausted.

He carefully climbed into bed, cautious not to jar or tweak his neck, but before he could get settled he heard his phone buzz.

_“It isn’t your fault, either.”_

Kyle read and re-read the response from the Irishman, tears stinging his eyes but feeling a weight lifted off his chest. He then put his phone down and let himself get comfortable. As he began to fall asleep, he made a promise to himself.

Adam Cole would pay for what he’d done.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
